


You've Got to be Kidding Me

by orion_keep_me_company



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Jealous Victor Nikiforov, M/M, POV Makkachin (Yuri!!! on Ice), Sort of? - Freeform, Unrequited Love, WTF, love triangle sort of????, makkachin is a human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 12:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10360977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orion_keep_me_company/pseuds/orion_keep_me_company
Summary: Makkachin wasn't always a dog. In fact, he used to be a human named Maksim before he was cursed to learn about love as a dog. Fast forward a couple centuries and a certain Yuuri Kastuki manages to break it and Makkachin returns to his human form. Now that he's human though, does he stand a chance at winning Yuuri's heart?





	

Honestly, Maksim shouldn’t have been surprised. He had been known as a tyrant that was cruel to all. Hundreds of years ago he had been cursed to live a wretched life as a dog. Forced to spend the rest of eternity as a dog, frozen until he could learn to properly love. That had been centuries ago, though. Maksim wasn’t Maksim anymore, he was simply Makkachin, beloved poodle of the world-famous ice skater, Viktor Nikiforov.

-

To say Maks hadn’t tried to love another in the past few centuries wouldn’t be entirely accurate. He had had nearly one hundred different owners and had tried to love each. Most were unlovable, in his opinion though simply by how they treated him. You’d expect treating a dog with love would be easy, but you’d be wrong.

Viktor was the closest he had come in a long while. Viktor had spent so much time loving him for the first few years that Maks had been certain the curse was almost over. But, he was incorrect. Slowly Viktor started to draw more and more into himself. Eventually, Maks could barely bother to concern himself with his ‘master’ during the skating season. Viktor had Maks being dog-sat more often than he spent time taking care of Maks himself.

Things changed though. They changed when Yuuri Katsuki entered the equation. Somehow, thanks to this Japanese skater, Maks was dragged to Japan and his entire life had changed. For the first time in over a decade, he had people who cared for him like their own, even when his owner was gone. It felt like he had a real home, and Maks felt something akin to love blooming in his chest. Both for the Katsukis and for Yuuri, the kind man that brought life back into Viktor and consequently Maks’ world

-

Yuuri sighed, exhausted as he plopped back onto his and Viktor’s bed. He had spent all day unpacking, just as he had spent every day for the past week. St. Petersburg took a lot of adjusting. It was worth it though. He was engaged to Viktor after all. They were living together and it felt so _right_.

Yuuri took a deep breath and stretched his back. He had just gotten out of the shower and had opted for air drying since Viktor was out at the rink. Admittedly, Yuuri felt a bit like a housewife, but spending all day with Makkachin and doing housework had its perks. As if on que, said poodle came trotting in. Yuuri giggled as Makkachin sniffed at his bare legs. Yuuri swatted him away and pulled a blanket tightly around himself, sniffling from the cold.

Sure, they had heating but it was still Russia. Yuuri yawned and smiled softly as Makka hopped up on the bed next to him, allowing Yuuri to use him as a pillow. Yuuri hummed appreciatively and ran his fingers through Makka’s curly fur. Yuuri loved the dog, he reminded him so much of his dear Vicchan and the fact that Makkachin was always gentle and affectionate didn’t hurt either. Makka’s rhythmic breathing started to lure Yuuri asleep, unable to shake the drowsiness that had set in.

When Yuuri awoke, he pressed a soft kiss to Makkachin’s head before standing and starting to dress. A quick glance at the alarm clock told him he had only been asleep for around an hour. Viktor would be home soon, if he wasn’t already. Thus, meaning it was time to put clothes on. Not that Yuuri was against the idea of blowing off some steam as soon as Viktor got home, but he wasn’t particularly in the mood for a quickie before he started dinner.

Yuuri fumbled in the dimly lit room as he finally found the light switch, having only managed to put on some boxers in the darkness. Unfortunately, without his glasses, Yuuri was still mostly blind. He stumbled around before finding his glasses and sliding them on. Much better. Yuuri turned from the nightstand towards the closet and froze. Panic rushed through him. Laying across his bed was a _very_ shirtless man that wasn’t pale enough to be Viktor. The stranger’s head was hidden by a pillow and he had a blanket hiding his waist, which Yuuri _prayed_ was clothed.

Yuuri walked slowly backwards, hoping he could get to the dresser with the gun. He didn’t get far before the stranger started to move on the bed. They groaned as they slowly sat up, stretching as they did so, blinking in confusion. The man had a mess of curly brown hair and brown eyes with freckles dusting his cheeks and shoulders. He didn’t seem to notice Yuuri at first as he stretched his muscles further and yawned. Gradually the man’s eyes blinked open, and the instant they made eye contact with Yuuri, his eyebrows shot up. “Fuck.” The man mumbled before his hands flew to his mouth, in shock.

Yuuri seemed to have gotten a front row seat to watching the stranger flip out. The man started feeling his face in horror and was checking his body in wild panic. He ended up lifting the blanket up, presumably to check for legs with how he was acting, and flat out shrieked. Yuuri had been feeling uncomfortable watching before, but now that the other was starting to delve into a full-on panic attack, Yuuri couldn’t just watch. Carefully Yuuri walked closer, not wanting to startle the other too much, “Hey, take deep breaths with me, it’s going to be okay.” He said gently, trying not to think too hard about how he was comforting a stranger he had found in his bed.

Yuuri’s words snapped the stranger out of it, it seemed. They locked eyes with Yuuri and it almost felt like the world slowed. Before Yuuri could even react, the man had launched himself at Yuuri, “Yuuri! Thank god!” The man shouted, effectively throwing Yuuri to the floor. Yuuri tried not to move much since it was becoming harder and harder to pretend that the other wasn’t completely naked.

The man clung to Yuuri and wiggled against his chest, talking at a lightning speed, “Oh my god I was so scared, I thought that I was dreaming but this is real. Fuck, I’m human again. Thank the gods. And I’m even still here with you. Thank fucking god.” The man murmured, straddling Yuuri and cuddling up against him, completely unaware of how he was getting dangerously close to having his nether regions press against Yuuri’s stomach.

Yuuri squeaked, completely aware of the stranger’s proximity to his skin and gave the stranger’s shoulders a firm push, “Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?” He said, trying to get the other to stop freaking out and hopefully actj rational.

No such luck, the man just sat up, still sat firmly on Yuuri’s crotch. “I’m Maksim, or Maks, or rather, you know me as Makkachin, and well, I live here.” He said giving Yuuri a wide smile and a wink. When Yuuri shifted underneath him again, the man jumped up and offered Yuuri his hand to help Yuuri stand. “Sorry, this is confusing I know, hell even I’m confused, but it’ll make sense soon.” Maksim? Maks? Makkachin? Said with a concerned grimace.

Yuuri allowed himself to be helped up and moved quickly away from the stranger, clearly on the verge of freaking out himself. This could not be real. Did this guy just claim to be his dog? “I’m not having the rest of this conversation until you put some clothes on.” He said firmly, putting his foot down.

The man, Maks, glanced down and finally had the decency to look embarrassed, “Um sorry, can I, uh, borrow some clothes?” He said, shifting nervously and trying to figure out a way to hide himself properly without just sticking his hands over himself. Sure, he could use a pillow or blanket, but the more Maks thought about it, the more inappropriate it seemed to just take someone else’s pillow and shove it on his crotch.

Yuuri stared, stunned, but nodded and started looking for some clothes in Viktor’s closet. Maks frowned to himself as he watched, the dog side of his brain was slowly slipping away, leaving him with just the mortifying embarrassment of having tackled Yuuri completely naked. Great way to make a first impression, idiot. Soon, Yuuri walked over and handed Maks a bundle of clothes consisting of an orange sweater that Viktor loathed, some basketball shorts that Viktor had nearly burned when Yurio had given them to him, and a pair of boxers that Yuuri had to open a new package to get to.

Maks smiled appreciatively and quickly pulled the clothes on. He was immensely thankful for Viktor’s snobbish style, Yuuri’s clothes probably wouldn’t fit him, and Yuuri wouldn’t have let him wear anything Viktor liked. Once dressed, Maks looked over at Yuuri, “So I’m guessing this is where you make me give you some answers?”

Yuuri nodded and pointed at the bedroom door, apparently not in the mood to be having this conversation in his room. As Maks walked out, he noticed Yuuri pull on an old shirt that Viktor had made for him with Makkachin’s paw prints. Bizarre as it was, Maks felt a sense of pride.

Once in the living room, Yuuri pointed at the couch for Maks to sit on, eyes narrowed. “So, who are you? And don’t tell me you’re my dog again, that’s a horrible lie. Speaking of, what did you do with my dog?” Maks flinched at Yuuri’s tone. It was not one he was used to being on the receiving end for. In fact, he could only recall Yuuri having used it a few times in front of him.

Maks shifted, trying to not look as guilty and sad as he felt, he knew it was lingering reactions from being a dog, but it didn’t make it any less upsetting. He could feel the tension in the air and he felt tears well up in his eyes, “I-I’m Maksim, you can call me Maks, kind of like Max, but a long time ago I got turned into a dog. I’m-I’m sorry Yuuri, I didn’t mean to make you mad. But I really am Makkachin.” Maks said, wiping at his eyes and looking up at Yuuri with his hopeful expression he could manage.

Yuuri froze, suddenly having the feeling as though he was being given the puppy dog face. He immediately wanted to backpaddle. He had the sense of overwhelming guilt someone got when they scared a dog while scolding them for something serious. Yes, it was reasonable, but that didn’t make it any more comfortable. Yuuri managed to snap himself out of it though when he reminded himself just how he had ended up in this position, “How am I supposed to believe you? I wasn’t born yesterday, you can’t expect me to take your word at face value.” He said, narrowing his eyes at Maks, shaking off most of the guilt from making the man nearly cry.

Maks blinked, distress gone immediately before he smirked, “I have a million ways to prove it.” He said, pausing to mentally debate which way would be best. There were loads of things that he knew about Yuuri and Viktor that only he would know aside from them. Unfortunately, most of information would probably send Yuuri straight to an early grave from embarrassment. That would obviously not be the ideal, Maks did not want to be stuck with Viktor just because he accidentally killed Yuuri. He ran a few ideas through his mind, doing his best to figure out what to say. He had nearly no impulse control from being a dog for so long, so it took a massive amount of effort before he concluded the best piece of evidence to use to support his claim, “You have a set of silver colored lingerie in the bottom of your closet.”

Maks had thought it was a perfect choice for evidence, but Yuuri’s reaction told him otherwise. Yuuri’s face flushed a deep red and a hand flew to his face, clearly trying to hid his embarrassment. “No, there’s no way you could know that. Only Makkachin has seen it… you’re really him, aren’t you?”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is clearly (mostly) a joke. I really liked the idea of Makkachin becoming human and attempting to woo Yuuri. This is mostly just a for fun story for me, and idk if I'll ever even update it. Leave a comment telling me what you think if you want me to continue with this crazy idea that I've clearly put way too much thought into.


End file.
